This is interesting. It’s Friday and on Friday I only go to see Mum once a day, in the evening. It is the one day in seven when I stay home in the morning and do stuff, like housework and thinking about gardening and cooking and actually do some reading and talk to the handyman (who seems to be a permanent fixture), play with the cat etc.
Suzie is an occupational therapist, around my age, who visits old people in rest homes and looks after them as her occupation. Several families, who can’t be there as regularly as they would like, pay Suzie to visit their relatives in Mum’s rest home. She spends two hours with Mum every Friday morning and she usually calls me Friday afternoon to tell me how they got on.
Today she was telling me how Mum looks at her for a few seconds when she first arrives and then smiles. I told her Mum does it with me sometimes too, it is just her brain processing who it is. Then she said Mum grabs her hand and puts it against her cheek and they have a cuddle.
Today she took Mum out for a drive in the country and they stopped and Suzie bought some flowers for Mum and they played music in the car and Mum conducted (as she does with me). I said Mum does talk quite well but only seems to do it with me, and when I say that she nods and smiles, she does it on purpose. Suzie said she now talks to her too! When they got back, Mum got onto the bed stretched out and smiled. Suzie massaged her feet (as I do every day) with lavender massage wax and she went to sleep.
Question I ask myself is ‘how does this make me feel?’ Answer is: ABSOLUTELY BLOODY FANTASTIC. That’s the interesting part. I don’t feel the slightest, tiniest bit upset or jealous to know that Mum and Suzie are growing closer. I just feel a HUGE great big weight lifted off my shoulders. I know there are relations who would put time in with Mum but they live in Auckland, so it isn’t practical.
If the time comes when I need to travel, to publicise, to research or even to have a holiday…I know I can organise for Suzie to take over on a daily basis for that time and Mum will be happy, she will be fine, she will be in great hands. I’m not alone any more. It makes me feel ridiculously happy to know that.