Honestly, sometimes I annoy even myself. This is a cellphone conversation I had this morning. Phone rings and I pick it up:
Me: Hello, Julie speaking
Young Male voice: Oh Hi Julie, this is Greg from Universal Moving, just checking you’re ready.
Me: Absolutely. For what?
Greg: We have you booked in for 9am and we’ll be there to move you.
Me: How lovely. How, exactly do you plan to move me?
Greg: We’re a removal company, we’re going to move your stuff today.
Me: Well that would be very nice, but I moved here last May and have no intention of going anywhere else. I shall die in this house.
Greg: Oh O.K., I guess that’s a clever way of telling me I got the wrong number?
Me: Yes you do and I guess if you couldn’t discern that from my response, then you wouldn’t be very clever, would you?
Greg: Sorry. Why couldn’t you have just said wrong number? You wasted my time.
Me: But then you wouldn’t remember the phone call and as you grow older you’ll realise that no conversation with another human being is ever a waste of time. I trust you will find the right number and I’m sure you will move her expertly. Goodbye.
Greg (mutter): Nutjob
We are waiting for a weather bomb. The news last night told us there was a weather bomb coming and there are severe weather warnings in place for the North Island. Woke up this morning and it was dreary and cold, but not wet. Since then the wind has picked up and there’s been a bit of rain but so far I wouldn’t call this a storm, let alone a weather bomb. We’ll see what the rest of the day brings but I suspect it will be the Y2K of weather bombs.
I am so confident of this I’m off out, I need more preserving jars with lids for more chutney and perhaps some pickle…some more stewed plums and apple too. When the long, cold, apocalyptic winter of all winters comes (complete with weather bomb) I shall be ready with my jars of chutney and frozen stewed fruit. As long as Greg doesn’t turn up to move me.